Saturday, August 30, 2008
A rather important fact has been revealed to me by my body. Right now it is screaming, FEED ME!!!!!!! I have a bad habit of not really eating regularly and the near shut down of my system I feel coming on, coupled with the current knowledge that I'm about to become VERY busy, is telling me I can no longer get away with my periodic mealtimes. I must provide my meat sack with REGULAR sustenance! Oh boy! Another added element to my schedule is ALL I needed. (This is a rather important one, though. I've had a collapse due to dehydration once. THAT was an in the future experience to avoid at all costs. I've been doing a decent job so far but I kind of feel those sensations I felt when I collapsed before, now. I don't like these fucking feelings. I NEVER, NEVER, EVEREVEREVEREVEREVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT SHIT AGAIN. It's embarrasing, one, and two, it sucks to have your body not properly respond to your mental/spiritual self. Your mind is TRYING to exert control and homeostatic status and your body is saying, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! SHOULDA TOOK BETTER CARE! WE'RE GOING TO SHUT DOWN NOW! NOTHING YOU CAN DO! STOP TRYING! BETTER LUCK IN THE FUTURE! Now naturally the mind is stubborn and keeps trying to absolutely NO avail. Your positively freezing AND sweating profusely, which makes NO sense since you're dehydrated. Wow, the human body is a complicatingly complex machine. There's paramedics, there's the gurney/body carry thingy, there's the back of the hospital truck, there's the IV of hydrating fluids [which reminds me as soon as I leave here I gotta get some gatorade or equivalent fluid], there's the ice packs, and the time waiting for the body to absorb and redistribute the rehydrating fluids. Like I said, fucking embarrasing!) Anyways, I know I went kind of on a tangent but, from the description of the experience maybe you can see why. I really, really don't need a repeat of that shit. Especially not in this damn city. I mean I love my hometown, but in NY you see fuckers passed out or strungout lookin' ALL the time, therefore people DO NOT stop to help or check. AND I understand why, but I would still be PISSED AS HELL if I was down and noone tried to help. The retarded ass human condition. We are strange creatures to each other and within ourselves. Oh well.... I need some fuckin' food!