What I probably miss the most is kissing her. In so many ways we fit together and this was one of my favorites. I loved running my tongue all along and around her teeth. She had the most perfect, small, and smooth teeth. I SO miss that. The softest lips I've ever felt.
We could fall asleep snuggled up and wake up a tangled knot and be comfortable. Sometimes it was like we were trying to melt into each other in our sleep. She told me once she missed that, too.
I loved to do her hair. I loved to brush and comb it. She had beautiful naturally curly hair. I'd always put her perms in for her and often styled it. She'd let me come up with something or she'd see something she wanted to try and needed my help. Now putting in the perms was always fun 'cause to wash that shit out we'd just get in the shower. Now how fun is that. Fuck a sink, we home! Let's have fun! The funnest hair style we did was with straws. Bugged out right. Instead of getting tiny rollers or something we got straws, regular drinking straws. We'd cut them down and I'd curl her hair around them and secure them with bobby pins. Wrap and sleep and in the morning she had some really nice tight curls. Did that one a few times.
I liked running baths for her. With her sickle cell, she really needed to stay relaxed as much as possible and that chick loved to hang onto negative energy for some reason, which was not good. So, I would do my best to de-stress her as much as possible. Another thing she admitted to missing. I think this one's obvious to miss, though. I'd also wash her when she was finished soaking. When I go, I go DEEP and ALL THE WAY!!!
This one thing is going to seem weird to some of you and it's also a bit difficult to describe. I loved her little toes. The outside ones, the pinky toes. They both were very slightly calloused so they were still soft but firm. And what I loved about them was they both had an edge. A slightly sharp edge. Not soft rounded pads like most toes but edged and very slightly hard. I liked licking and sucking her toes (among other things ;-) and really liked when my tongue hit those edges on her toes. I know, I'm weird. What else is new?
Us again. Told you we looked good together. We went to a studio to get this (obviously).
New Year's 2001 Despite the smiles we weren't really at our best together at this point. If you can't tell those are some fake ass smiles. Well not really fake. More half-hearted really. A failing relationship is no fun when both people REALLY love each other and can't figure out how to fix things.
One of the first pictures we took together. Her mother took this. This is either christmas of '98 or right after 'cause I bought her that necklace and pendant that christmas. Can you see the difference in the smiles here and the pic above?
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That's so sad that she had to leave this world. You two were really good together, despite your differences sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI remember how happy I was for you when you called me at college and told me you had found someone. You sounded so hopeful.
Here's to true love! It will never die.